At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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