Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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