i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Randomize
