Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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