Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
This house was built for laser tag.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
