At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
