is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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