guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
