Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
