We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he shaved USA in his pubs
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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