absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
