All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
