i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
