There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
