so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
