On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
