I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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