why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
