Whod you bang
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
he thought i was a dude.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
