There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
