oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
