Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
