apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
