this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
