Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
