Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
