I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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