so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
