Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
