Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
