you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
