I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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