You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Terrible idea I love it
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I smell like Dick and happiness
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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