Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
