I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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