I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
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