her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
