Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
