i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
