Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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