it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
