i permit you to call me
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
