im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
