Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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