the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
