Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
