You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
