I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
