I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
