It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
