At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I just found a bag of teeth...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
