We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
