I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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