i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
