just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
