That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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