Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
