he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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