if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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