Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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