Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
