no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
